Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

Speaking as an old, fat, tired, Riot Grrl…may I just say: I used to wanna change the fucking world — now I just wanna be the girl with THE MOIST CAKE.

“I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn’t last long.” — Miss Shelley Winters

Myself and the GORGEOUS and AMAZING Miss Dawn Wells last week on the last day of the movie we just shot together, “Hotel Arthritis” — directed by that brilliant Hollywood boy wonder, Jason Lockhart. The very best part of doing … Continue reading →

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these … Continue reading →

To the brilliant, beautiful, most popular boy at our high skyool who is my date to our class reunion in Fresno this weekend: Do me this one favor, darling. Even though you get TOP-SHELF PUSSY thrown at you like motherfuckin’ … Continue reading →

Last night I was on the set of Hotel Arthritis — shooting a scene directed by that visionary Boy Wonder of Directors, Jason Lockhart — alongside the DEAD-SEXY DEAD-FUNNY Miss Jacqui Holland, the MINDBOGGLINGLY HILARIOUS Broadway god John Tartaglia, and … Continue reading →

The Jackals began in Fresno, back when we were baby-faced teenagers. A group of ruthless, artistic renegades and degenerates who did not belong there — who knew that hot, flat, vapid land was not and would not EVER be enough … Continue reading →

The bottom line, kids, is that ALL politicians are bought and paid for to some degree, both Republicans AND Democrats. That is the nature of the beast. If you ain’t bought, paid for, and beholden, you ain’t in office, old … Continue reading →

Every writer has a direct “creative genealogy” that can be traced back to a single source, a literary ancestor, the echoes of whose work and/or influence can be felt in your own. If that is true, then I owe MUCH … Continue reading →

Pepperoni pizza, juice boxes, “Fight For Your Right To Party” and “Dick In A Box” cranked to 11, “Magic: The Gathering” card game, my beautiful 17 year old man-child with a Mohawk, and his crew of adorable 17 year old … Continue reading →