Monthly Archives: June 2013

Little-known American History Fun Fact #623: Abraham Lincoln not only had chin whiskers that he had to pluck every morning…he also had nuclear hot flashes, parched vaginal tissues, an estrogen patch on his ass, the gunt of a TRUE patriot, … Continue reading →

    STEP INTO THE LIGHT.    

Young Hooker. Fresno, California. 1998. Boss Hooters. Questionable Moral Fiber. Ina Garten Doppleganger. Hopelessly in love with Jesus. No, silly. Not in love with Jesus’ doctrine and divinity. Actually PHYSICALLY IN LOVE WITH JESUS. As in…I watched Franco Zeffirelli’s masterpiece … Continue reading →

Despite all the amazing photos being posted by my friends on the East Coast — I have to say that we here in California are feeling a little entomologically left out and would like to extend an offer to all … Continue reading →

A coupla years ago, My One True Love and I were out and about, and at some point during our travels, stopped in at the INFAMOUS Starbucks on Ventura Blvd. to canoodle, read the LA Times, and split a nice, … Continue reading →

You know…I am not really the judgy type. I mean, as long as everybody’s legal, nobody’s getting hurt, and everybody’s happy…I’M HAPPY. By my way of thinking, to find Our One True Love is WHY WE ARE HERE IN THE … Continue reading →

She is BEAUTIFUL.

I was first introduced to Anthony Jeselnek at last year’s Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne — and now I am OBSESSED WITH HIM.

Miss Shriner Vaginer Forty-Niner, 2013

“I’m assuming Kim Kardashian had her baby, if only because Gregory Peck just walked by me carrying the 7 Daggers of Megiddo.” — The positively BRILLIANT Patton Oswalt.