Author Archives: muffybolding

Unknown's avatar

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

BELLY SCREAMER

Posted on July 8, 2013 by muffybolding

I have been online for almost TWENTY FUCKING YEARS. Trust me, in that time, I have seen and heard it all. I once had cyber-sex with a guy who had a leg fetish…who told me that what would turn him … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

rip mia

Posted on July 8, 2013 by muffybolding

*RAPE TRIGGER ALERT* It was 20 years ago last night that Mia Zapata walked out of the Comet Tavern on Capitol Hill in Seattle, wearing shorts and heavy black boots. She was last seen alive just after midnight. When her … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment

bill&kurt

Posted on July 8, 2013 by muffybolding

“There’s something wrong with that boy.” — William S. Burroughs to his secretary immediately after getting into the car following the very first time he met and spent time with Kurt Cobain.

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

this right here

Posted on July 8, 2013 by muffybolding
Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

égalité

Posted on July 8, 2013 by muffybolding

When I was a little brown berry of a girl, growing up in a working class family in Fresno, California, like most kids my age, I was completely unaware of class politics or cultural privilege. I just knew that I … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Tagged | Leave a comment

ANS

Posted on June 29, 2013 by muffybolding

In honor of the reportedly AWESOME new Anna Nicole Smith biopic that is scheduled to air this weekend on Lifetime, and which, as far as this Old Hooker is concerned, CANNOT AIR FAST ENOUGH…here is a piece I wrote about … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

me meme me meme me meme

Posted on June 29, 2013 by muffybolding

1. What’re your 5 favorite bands? The Replacements, Big Star, Sparklehorse, Husker Du, and The Bay City Rollers. Oh! And EVERY fucking incarnation of Frank Black possible (The Pixies, The Catholics, et al.). I also love Django Reinhardt and Sidney Bechet … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

beige is the rage

Posted on June 27, 2013 by muffybolding

Also — and perhaps I feel this way simply because I am a GODDAMNED POUND PUPPY, descended from EVERY FUCKING MARGINALIZED MUD CULTURE ON EARTH — but I just gotta say that I am pretty much OVER the whole hysterical … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

folly, indeed

Posted on June 26, 2013 by muffybolding

“I am the beautiful reflection…of my love’s affection. A walking illustration…of his adoration.” Just an Old Trollop spending a DELIGHTFUL Summer afternoon playing dress-up in the BRILLIANT private movie memorabilia collection of a MOST CHERISHED friend. Yes, an ancient whore … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

HERSTORY

Posted on June 26, 2013 by muffybolding

I suspect that, up until yesterday, the GOP thought that women were just gonna roll their dumb asses over and allow their FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS to be stripped from them by a political body largely made up of IGNORANT, RELIGIOUS, … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment