Author Archives: muffybolding

Unknown's avatar

About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

all things being equal

Posted on June 24, 2011 by muffybolding

Tonight, I cannot tell you how proud I am to be a native New Yorker. I could just BURST! Even as I type this, the cheering crowds are gathered once again outside The Stonewall Inn, and the iconic rainbow lights … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

on track

Posted on June 24, 2011 by muffybolding

“If she can’t afford it, she won’t buy it. If it doesn’t fit , she won’t wear it. If she can’t find it, she won’t compromise. If she loves it, she won’t toss it. She reuses it, rethinks it, lets … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment

the ties that bind

Posted on June 23, 2011 by muffybolding

Because I frequently write about them and their hilarious, scandalous, maddening, madcap, criminal, violent, delightfully dysfunctional antics, people often ask me what my family of origin is really and truly like, all literary device/horseshit aside — and the answer is … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment

separated at birth?

Posted on June 4, 2011 by muffybolding

And with all this Sarah Palin nonsense about Paul Revere warnin’ the British by ringin’ and ringin’ that ol’ bell…I just need to ask: Is it just me — or does Paul Revere… look EXACTLY like Bob Hope?

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

sandal scandal, 2011

Posted on June 3, 2011 by muffybolding

Gosh. More and better in-depth coverage on The Amazing, Enraging Target Sandal Scandal of 2011 — from Ms. Laura Andre, whose gorgeous writing takes my breath away…even when she’s just waxing poetic about me and the notorious Miss Jackie Beat … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

PRIDE

Posted on June 2, 2011 by muffybolding

A gaggle of fab friends of the awesome Miss Jackie Beat — including Mario Diaz, Miss Selene Luna, Miss Coco Peru, Miss Susan Olsen (YES, Cindy FUCKING Brady!), Miss Roseanne Barr, and Miss Alexis Arquette, as well as your own … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

art

Posted on May 28, 2011 by muffybolding

Two of The GREAT Loves of My Life: The Baby Goat and Pearlie Mae. Could you not just EXPLODE from all the cuteness in this photo? Also, note the “mushroom” that my 16 year old son made in art class … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

“i’m in love with a nerd!”

Posted on May 23, 2011 by muffybolding

“We so much want more women’s projects and I want them being able to do this kind of thing. But I want the people who are doing it to not just go, ‘Okay, movies with women make money now so … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 1 Comment

the end

Posted on May 23, 2011 by muffybolding

WITHOUT QUESTION…this video from the May 22nd tornado that devastated Joplin, Missouri is the most harrowing thing I have ever heard. Even though everyone thankfully survived, it’s so strange to bear witness to how different people face what they believe … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | Leave a comment

i speaks like i likes

Posted on May 20, 2011 by muffybolding

You know what? Strunk and White and all the other annoying, self-appointed Language Police out there can kiss my big, fat, unanointed, undegreed, uncredentialed writerly ass. Language is a living thing. It changes and ebbs and flows and dips and … Continue reading →

Posted in categories can suck my dick | 4 Comments