Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

kurdt and turtles

Posted on February 28, 2011 by muffybolding

I was just sitting here drinking my coffee, casually scrolling through my Facebook friends feed, and pondering destiny, fertility, mortality, and foot massages when all of the sudden a random video post caught my eye and out of nowhere, I … Continue reading →

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movie memeage

Posted on February 24, 2011 by muffybolding

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times: Hard Day’s Night, The Godfather Trilogy, What’s Up, Doc?, The Royal Tenenbaums, Pulp Fiction, Arthur, Amelie, Superbad, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. These, among countless … Continue reading →

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you gotta be fucking kidding me

Posted on February 23, 2011 by muffybolding

Let me tell you an ugly little secret about myself, kids. Even if the house was free. Even if it was a free fucking mansion, a gorgeous free fucking mansion that came complete with a surly Clive Owen, naked and … Continue reading →

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and the demon, pazuzu, spoke…and it was good

Posted on February 22, 2011 by muffybolding

Golly Moses, will wonders never cease? Mama’s been asked to speak at a Women’s Conference later this year. Can you believe? Of course, you can’t put a live talk on a 7-second censor delay. Poor unfortunate souls. This should be…interesting. … Continue reading →

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*cough, cough*

Posted on February 22, 2011 by muffybolding

First hacking cough and chest cold in thirty years. Suffering. Annoyed. Thwarted. Bedeviled. I sound like Bea Arthur. My drag name is Emphysema Jackson. I gotta stay home and GREASE WEEZER — but then again, WHO DOESN’T AFTER A FEW … Continue reading →

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rub one out and rub one in

Posted on February 22, 2011 by muffybolding

That for which I LIVE: My Baby, My Babies, My Furry Babies, My Friends, My Books, My Movies, My Yarn, My Brooches, My Insatiable Wanderlust…oh, and LOTIONS, POTIONS, TINCTURES, and UNGUENTS. Allow me to explain myself: You see, other than … Continue reading →

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friends

Posted on February 22, 2011 by muffybolding

To the AMAZING Peter Garcia and Gary Scott DeVaughn: I just want you both to know that that night after the party…you forever changed the course of my life and of my destiny. To be seen and loved and championed … Continue reading →

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happy presidents day, muthafuckas!

Posted on February 21, 2011 by muffybolding

Goddamn. Barry is a BADASS.

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my sun king

Posted on February 18, 2011 by muffybolding

Three days ago, my 16-year old son told me that he has written a movie and that he and his friends are filming it next weekend. There are five of them acting, producing, directing, costuming, shooting, and editing this sure-to-be … Continue reading →

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happy balentime’s day to my one true love

Posted on February 14, 2011 by muffybolding

My One True Love in a $7 cowboy hat and a plain white T. Be still my wicked heart!: Hey, kids, it’s Valentine’s Day and you know what that means! No, not that you shall once again receive the usual … Continue reading →

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