Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

Oh, my stars…what a whirlwind weekend of WONDER! Last night my fatass sashayed into an AWESOME club in Little Tokyo with My One True Love and our best girl, Miss Pammie, where we partooketh of a jaw-dropping performance of REAL-DEAL, … Continue reading →

Have you ever dated a guy who made CRAZY EYES when he was fucking you? I’m not talking about “Crazy ‘O’ Face” here — everybody has that, for chrissake. I’m talking about actual CRAZY EYES while he’s nailing you. Talk … Continue reading →

“A genius is someone who shoots at something that no one else can see…and hits it.” One of my writer friends recently put out a call on Facebook asking for the names of creative geniuses, historical and/or contemporary, I am … Continue reading →

My youngest daughter, Anne, and I were hanging out this afternoon, belly laughing and reciting lines from “Bridesmaids”…and at some point we touched on the subject of fear — and I told her, “If I could give you only one … Continue reading →

There is no more telling statement on America’s attitude toward aging than this: If given a choice and the necessary resources, otherwise rational, intelligent women in the culture in which I, my daughters, my sisters, and my girlfriends exist…WOULD RATHER … Continue reading →

Let’s see…my most favorite memory from our wedding day was not just that I finally finally finally got to marry My One True Love…but that right after I became her son’s lawfully wedded wife, my new mother-in-law handed us an … Continue reading →

In the sacred spirit of Christmas and of being grateful and counting one’s blessings for all that is good in one’s life, I have even come up with a way to be thankful for My Dread Disease: This malar rash … Continue reading →

To all you generous, thoughtful, and enthusiastic holiday bakers out there, a small, but meaningful, Christmas gift from me — a gift of THE TRUTH: You can spin it however you want and festoon that shit with ribbons, sprinkles, and … Continue reading →

“My reaction to porno films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.” — Erica Jong

Mother of god. I wish I could adequately communicate to you just how much I LOVE THIS: “Kazan and company were clearly grooming Warren Beatty as a fresh new Method-acting Boy Wonder, and his performance is a genuine oddity: He … Continue reading →