muffy bolding

YOU GODDAMNED STRAIGHT.

HA! Even HATEFUL, CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN REPUBLICAN BROADS will exalt her hallowed name in JUBILANT COMMUNION over THIS quote, Baby:

“He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.”

Happy 51st Birthday to the FIERCT LADY, Ms. Michelle Obama!

#mendontknownothin #furthermoremendontNEEDtoknownothin #getthefuckouttamycloset #getthefuckouttamybookcases #getthefuckouttamybroochbins #butmostimportantlyofallgetthefuckouttamyYARNSTASH

PS) And, furthermore…Men don’t WANNA KNOW. The TRUTH would BUUUUUUUUURN and BLIND them. Think the EPIC, TORRENTIAL, BIBLICAL, FACE-MELTING, Nazi/Ark of The Covenant Scene at the end of Raiders of The Lost Ark.

YEAH.

Our next big Framily Film Fieldtrip Summer Extravaganza:

Wolfing popcorn and watching “JAWS” on the big screen at midnight…whilst floating together in innertubes…on a pond…with our feet dangling down into the DARK WATER.

OH, YEAH.

HOLY SHIT my punani kicks out some BEAUTIFUL BABIES.

#iloveyoubettysue
#fiercebabybird
#fiercebabygirl
#girlpower
#wasbornaspicegirlwilldieaspicegirl
#messwithheratyourownperilthoughihavenoideahowyoulleatyour4thofjulycornonthecobwithNOFUCKINTEETH

Surprising though it may seem — being that I am from Fresno, and all — I don’t yet have a single tattoo inked upon this smooth, svelte, gazelle-like body…but if my fatass WERE to go under the gun…this marvelous, meaningful design would be one I would most definitely consider:

A Wonder Woman-themed NC — because, like SO many of the FIERCE broads I know and love and with whose talent and inspiration I constantly surround myself…I am a wonder, I am a woman, and, most of all, I am a SERIOUS GOTTDAMNED NON-COMPLIANT.

#wellbehavedwomenrarelymakehistory #unreasonablewomenchangetheworld #ncthatsme #yourenotthebossofme #imbutch #allgirlstothefront

EDITED TO ADD: It has been generously pointed out to me by my friend, Miss Cricket Lee​ — an EPIC Gamer Girl who would SERIOUSLY KNOW — that this color/design scheme is not, in fact, from Wonder Woman…but MS. MARVEL! HURRAY FOR NON-COMPLIANT SUPERPOWER PUNANIS! Thank you, Miss Cricket!

There is absolutely NOTHING, Mein Poppets, like A Day At The Races — unless, of course, you’re talkin’ A Night At The Opera. Speaking of which, I just shot a two year old gelding in my Granny Panties…and how he got in my Granny Panties, I’ll NEVER know.

At any rate, “Hillbilly Horsecock By a Nose” is the name of my new Punk Thug Jug band.

Long may we rock LA.

#luckyslut #thesportofqueens #yarnandponies #knottingandtrotting #santaanita #thesmellofhorseshitinthemorning #smellslikevictory

Miss Bristol Palin — eldest daughter of ex-vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, Conservative Christian Republican, former national spokeswoman for sexual abstinence outside the sanctity of marriage, lovely young woman, and fierce teenage mother — recently announced that she is unexpectedly pregnant from an unnamed Baby Daddy yet again. All I can say to the publicly penitent Miss Bristol is this:

Listen to me, Little Sister…you don’t gotta apologize to ANY MOTHERFUCKER for ANY MOTHERFUCKING THING.

EVER.

It is what it is, you are what you are, and your life is delightfully your own. Own it. ALL OF IT — and FUCK ANYONE who attempts to judge, control, condemn, or subdue you. Delete shame and contrition from your playbook — both are WORTHLESS EMOTIONS. Grab your beautiful son, Tripp’s, little hand, take your prenatal vitamins, hold your head high…and PLAY ON…by your OWN rules.

Oh, and WELCOME TO THE CLUB, Sugar — you are now officially one of us:

A PROUD, PASSIONATE, BONAFIDE, CARD-CARRYING JEZEBEL.

And, remember…unlike your mother and her hypocritical, hairsprayed ilk:

OWN IT.

When, oh, when will the intolerant, racist, sexist, homophobic, hateful, judgmental, hypocritical, pasty-faced, doomed, DAMNED denizens of Mordor ever learn?

Inclusion, Acceptance, Peace, Celebration, Fellowship, Fabulousness, Ferocity, and TRUE LOVE will always prevail.

Always.

I gotta tell you, Mein Poppets…I am just about done with EVERYBODY being offended ABOUT EVERY FUCKING THING, ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

DONE. FIN. ADIOS, MOTHERFUCKER.

I have a post on deck that I’ve been working on for awhile addressing not only this, but every other DICK MOVE issue on the motherloving planet…a little post which I affectionately refer to as, “THE ARMAGEDDON POST”, i.e., if/when I post it, HUMANKIND AS WE KNOW IT CEASES TO FUCKING EXIST.