Category Archives: categories can suck my dick

If my scandalous ass is ever lucky enough to pass through The Pearly Gates (which, believe you me, is highly unlikely), I will not be surprised at all to find that heaven smells exactly like a cup of coffee in … Continue reading →

I had the most amazing and hilarious dream last night — you know, the kind of wonderful dream that just seems to last forever and you hope will never end. The entire thing was about, “Hey, Kids! Let’s put on … Continue reading →

My old friend, Billy Butler, and I used this shit SO RELIGIOUSLY the summer after we graduated from high school…that by Fall, our hair was SO damaged, orangey-red, and yarn-like, that we looked like a fucking chubby, drunken, BELLY LAUGHING … Continue reading →

Congratulations to Miss Mary Stuart Masterson on the news that she is expecting twins. Just think of it — a completely unexpected pregnancy and twins at age 44! Well, surely the propensity for multiples must run in her family — … Continue reading →

Greater love hath NO Jackal: I just found out that because I will be losing my toomer and girlie-bits to the skilled hand of the best gynecological oncology surgeon in the land on Friday morning, my treasured friend and fellow … Continue reading →

And speaking of my great friend, Miss Jimmy James — his latest show, Impressionism, is positively awe-inspiring. Between the songs and the glamour and the love and the belly laughs, it is a MASTERPIECE by a performer at the very … Continue reading →

Mama needs recommendations/suggestions for books and/or sites and/or first-person experiential advice that might prove helpful for a willowy, youthful, insolent ingenue being kicked and dragged by hideous, sinister circumstances, against her will, and FAR, FAR BEFORE HER TIME into SURGICAL … Continue reading →

I woke up this morning with a profound inability to GIVE A FUCK. I mean, you cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck I do not give. But then I remembered: I give a fuck about this. Actually, to be … Continue reading →

Creepy, yet enormously beguiling. Yes, please.

Huh. I guess the impending surgical doom is making me feel remarkably indecisive today because I cannot accurately gauge whether this kid’s outrageous, extravagant pirate bedroom is making me want to bow down and worship his generous, imaginative parents — … Continue reading →