Author Archives: muffybolding

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About muffybolding

Muffy Bolding is a mother/writer/actor/knitter/feminist/withered debutante who likes the smell of asparagus pee, and remains obsessed with the bathroom hygiene of her three children -- despite the fact that they are 23, 19, and 16. She is blissfully married to a cute Jewish boy who looks like Willie Wonka, but remains tragically in love with the dead poet, Ted Hughes. She has the mouth of a Teamster, and her patron saint is Rocco (pestilence relief.) Ms. Bolding lives in Southern California, where she enjoys typing words, making movies, and plucking the rings from the fingers of the dead. She was the co-creator and Editor-in-Chief of the award winning satire zine, Fresno Lampoon, and in between writing screenplays, carnival barking, and savagely threatening her trio of darling larvae with a wooden spoon, she currently publishes the zine, "Withered Debutante." More of her work can also be found in the anthology, "Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts", the compilation zine, "Mamaphiles III: Coming Home", as well as in The Cortland Review and hipmama.com. She is currently writing and producing for film and television, and working on a book of essays entitled, "Inside A Chinese Dragon." She has slept around, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

HB, BG!

Posted on June 26, 2013 by muffybolding

A SERIOUS GOP ASS-HANDING by Senator Wendy Davis last night in Austin, Texas — and today? TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL in Washington, DC. EQUALITY ABOUNDS! And, the delicious maraschino cherry on top of THAT FABULOUS SUNDAE? An AWESOME Dodger win … Continue reading →

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jesus was hot

Posted on June 25, 2013 by muffybolding

And while I am typing meaningful missives: A Heartfelt Letter To An Old Friend From My Youth Who Stops By My Facebook Page Occasionally To Leave What I Absolutely Know To Be Loving And Well-Intentioned Comments Such As: “Why would … Continue reading →

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the goddess sally hansen

Posted on June 25, 2013 by muffybolding

“Jesus getting his nails painted.” An affectionate, open letter to the boy on my Facebook friends list who commented on my original post of this photo a couple of days ago, “Sorry, Muffy…You’re better than that.”: Actually, Sugar…I gotta tell … Continue reading →

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yoni yogi

Posted on June 22, 2013 by muffybolding

My private yoga lesson this morning with my HUSBAND, Gregory, and my GUSBAND, Jackie, went SWIMMINGLY. I am officially FUCKING OBSESSED. The really good news is…at this morning’s lesson, during some of the twistier poses, I couldn’t smell my own vagina. The … Continue reading →

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p-a-t-t-i

Posted on June 20, 2013 by muffybolding

“You have to understand, I’m not a middle-class person. I’m like a lower-class person with upper-class aesthetics.” — Patti Smith

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babraham lincoln

Posted on June 20, 2013 by muffybolding

Little-known American History Fun Fact #623: Abraham Lincoln not only had chin whiskers that he had to pluck every morning…he also had nuclear hot flashes, parched vaginal tissues, an estrogen patch on his ass, the gunt of a TRUE patriot, … Continue reading →

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all are welcome

Posted on June 20, 2013 by muffybolding

    STEP INTO THE LIGHT.    

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jesus loves me, this i know

Posted on June 19, 2013 by muffybolding

Young Hooker. Fresno, California. 1998. Boss Hooters. Questionable Moral Fiber. Ina Garten Doppleganger. Hopelessly in love with Jesus. No, silly. Not in love with Jesus’ doctrine and divinity. Actually PHYSICALLY IN LOVE WITH JESUS. As in…I watched Franco Zeffirelli’s masterpiece … Continue reading →

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come fly with me

Posted on June 19, 2013 by muffybolding

Despite all the amazing photos being posted by my friends on the East Coast — I have to say that we here in California are feeling a little entomologically left out and would like to extend an offer to all … Continue reading →

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STFU

Posted on June 19, 2013 by muffybolding

A coupla years ago, My One True Love and I were out and about, and at some point during our travels, stopped in at the INFAMOUS Starbucks on Ventura Blvd. to canoodle, read the LA Times, and split a nice, … Continue reading →

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